Love Makes Life Worth Living

The layout of my mind and heart is ever changing.
The map is never true.
However you remain constant.
You stopped the raging seas inside of me.
You kept my world from crashing down with in me.
I just want to share my world with you.
To let you in and show you my scars.
If I do will you depart from my side bequeathing a deafening silence?
Do I even dare?
Can I share my dreams with you when I clutch on to them so tightly?
A slip of the hand and my heart becomes visible.
I cannot hide my feelings from you, yet I have tried.
Suppressing the happiness and filing my mind with lies.

When my ears are graced with your kind words I've never felt so free.
You picked me out of the ground, dusted me off, and taught me how to fly.
You have saved me, but now, can I save you?
Am I strong enough to fight that final battle?
It's worth it when I know the spoils of war will be your heart, bold and true.
Such kind eyes have never gazed up on my imperfectly stained face.
Am I worthy of you meritorious presence... or to even hear you speak?
You knew the darkness that once engulfed my heart.
Yet you remain next to me.
Rare and genuine is your personality and character.

You are always there.
You encourage me and all the while not asking for anything.
No matter where I am, please know that I'm yours to keep.
You are my new dream.
Clutching to you tightly, you are all I have.
And that's more than enough for me.

Fast Food Essay

My planet was beautiful. They said that I, not only lived there, but was a piece of it. We were all one and we composed the planet. We lived in peace as a prosperous race, until that moment ended. My planet was plunged into a world of darkness. When the light returned our eyes did not remember it. Once our sight returned, it was, as if, we had been teleported. Giant and strange creatures stuck probes into our planet sending a scream down into our people. Our way of life was left desolate and our planet…shattered.

The strangers confined us into transparent prisons. Inhabitants of other planets, much like our own, were not so lucky and caged in and opaque enclosure. There were pictures on the penitentiary of what lay inside them. I inferred that our captors could not read and assumed my notes would be safe. Am I as foreign to them as they are to me? Darkness seemed to encroach around me once again. Although this time…cold accompanied the blackness. It was suffocating. It became hard to move and breathe. We all struggled for breath, but did not find it. I will soon lose the battle for my consciousness and…

I awoke in a daze. I had lost track of time. I do not know how long it has been. We are all afraid and do not know what our fate will be at the hands of these monsters. Our pint-size lives are numbered. I find a number of our people counting down the hours to our demise. Hope has fled from our sides. The minutes felt like hours. Our captors finally came for us. They moved us into a metal enclosure. For a moment we were suspended over a boiling liquid. A sharp shriek of horror burst out among the people as we were lowered into it. My life has finally lost all meaning. I am to become… simple side dish.

With me die all the vitamins that I contain. With me the health of the nation dies. I wish the situation of my people could be different. If you knew we were dying this way would it change you? You suck the life out of us. You make us… deep fried and unhealthy. We, as a galaxy on which you prey, ask you to eat healthily. We are the cancer. We are the virus affecting your heart in hazardous ways. You know us as “French Fries”.

No French fries were harmed in the making of this composition. That is omitting the ones that I ate because I craved them while writing. All in all I home cook meal is better than fast food any day. It comes not only with personal service, but the best company that one can find…family.

The Future...

Pollution will take over.
Trees will die and flowers will wilt in their place.
People will realize their mistake and be ashamed.
We have killed our planet.
We are successful in dominating nature.
Does this make us feel superior?
Are we now kings or heroes of our time?
We build monuments to trees in remembrance.
Remembrance of a time that the world was beautiful.
We have starved the world and yet it craves for beauty.
We have destroyed all that is worth seeing.
We've deprived nature and disrespected it.
And we will pay for our treachery.
We have suffocated the world with concrete.
Leaving it desolate and barren.
Your technology will fail.
Your stone will lay broken.
And your lungs will collapse.

Peace be the Journey.

Hiya,
Our guests have just left this morning. We sent about two weeks traveling in Turkey. We set out on a plane to Izmir. We rented a car which we drove to Selcuk and Ephesus. I was able to have my own hotel room. I had a double bed, a shower,and a bathtub with jets all to myself. We went sight-seeing. We say an ancient library, some ancient houses, pluming, and other ruins. It was my second time in Ephesus. A man that introduced himself as "True Boy" told me that I was beautiful and I looked like Jennifer Lopez. He then proceeded to give me some advice on how I should have a job and all before I have a boyfriend. He said I needed to be careful choosing who I date because guys say they love you for just one night. He's advice was true and taken to heart. I from then on was known as "Kay lo". As things progressed we moved on to Antakya.

We were picked up by a man that my father presumed to call Bob. We then were driven to where we were going to say. We went to a church there were I was able to play with the worship band on a bass that was "Sound Gear by Ibanez". I was walking the place we were staying with our guests and our hosts when I looked a lady in the eyes, smiled, and greeted her. She smiled back and told me that I needed to stay and marry her son. She said she loved me. That was an interesting evening. I loved to watch people fall in love with God through worship. It was awesome. Everywhere I go there are people that are moving to Jesus. God is working in this country and that is encouraging to me.

Our next and final stop was fethiye. We had to stay over night in the air port in order to make our flight. We slept in a cafe we found. We slept on booths and it was a long night. My father fell asleep on the opposite end of my couchy thing and was snoring directly into my ear. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep that night. We arrived and got into a private car and checked into our hotel. We seemed to hit it off with the hotel's staff. The shower was just a shower head and a fossit sticking out of the wall. WARNING: ALL TOLIET PAPER AND ANY THING YOU NEED TO STAY DRY MUST BE REMOVED FROM THE ROOM BEFORE SHOWER IS INITIATED!!! We visited an international church and one of their meetings. God moved amazingly here. A lady called Ursala recieved a vision for me. My primary love language is "Physical touch" and the moment she began to pray for me she asked "Kirstie, can I give you a hug?" it was almost like she knew. She told me that God showed her a road that split into two. One way there were portraits of people and the other showed wildlife photographs. She saw another image this time of a high way and people went so fast in their cars with the mentality that was so rushed they didn't stop to notice any of the beauty along side. Show them a green blur and they would be convinved it was grass. She said that I see the things that other people do not. I would stop and take the time to capture that perfect photograph of whatever was there. This was the most life-changing part of the journey. It was amazing. I experienced God's love and made the final decision on what I want to do with my talents.


Here are some of the photographs that I took durring the trip.
Enjoy!

Forever yours,
Kirstie "Kay lo".

Wonder Women: The Strength to Stop Trains

Hello everyone, I have been designing the front and back covers of my school's yearbook. Since we are a Christian School my publisher did not want to have a normal Mosque on the front. He wished for the Hagia Sofia which under the reign of Constantine and Justine was a Church, but was later transformed into a mosque when the Ottoman's took over. At the present time it is a Museum open to the public. My Father verbally gave my Mother dearest and I directions to get to Keskin and the Hagi Sofia. He sent us on our way. This was the first time my mother and I had gone by ourselves. Especially as far as Eminonu. We took the 14BK as planned and at this point we had no problems, but it was raining which would not have made for a good photograph. As the day carried on the rain ceased bringing out the face of the sun. We got onto the boat with no trouble and were able to get off at the right stop with the help of one of the staff. We arrived at Keskin with ease. We ran into my friend from school called Joanna. We bought a bunch of items that only cost us 17 liras. We then proceeded to have lunch where we met someone who was on the film crew for the new movie JAMES BOND and also a confused Burger King manager that believed he WAS James Bond. At lunch my mother and I joked about running into Daniel Craig, but sadly...we didn't. We arrived at Hagi Sofia and I began to study it, looking for the best angle. As I went on taking photographs...my mother caught the attnetion of what she calls a "Creepy creepy creepy guy". I was also able to speak with him in Spanish, which was quite interesting. While I was working several guys attempted to hit on me and my mother. We did not know english at those periods in time. As we were walking back to the park to take photographs of the Bospherous an electric tram was going by on the track when all of a sudden I realized a man with a thick handel bar mustache, dressed in cowboy appreal, had tied a young women to the tracks. I jumped in front of the tram pressing my hands against the front and planting my feet on hard on the tracks. I used all of my strength and the train roared to a hault. I had saved the young girls life. I was a hero. *Auto footage correction - Initiated* Kirstie steps onto the tracks for a few seconds. Train stops. Driver gets angry and curses under his breath. Kirstie is embarrassed and proceeds to hide in the park. *End of footage*Oooookay...so maybe that's a slightly stretch truth but, my side of the story seems more realistic.(; Forever Yours, Wonder Woman (Kirstie).

My Imperfections Compose My Composure.

Hiya Everyone,
I was assigned to write a sonnet for my Heroes Literature class and chose to share what the out come was. I hope you enjoy it(:

My Imperfections Compose My Composure (Sonnet one);

A blank Canvas collides with my brush
A masterpiece must start with a single stroke
The brush wonderfully composes leaving me with a rush
I have an eccentric imagination, I am of the Art folk
Can I, too, be beautifully crafted into a work of art?
Creativity, God, and I flowing in and out
Together forever and never to part
With all my imperfections, taunting does flout
A mirror, broken and distorted, show me my image
Once more I beg God show me your life
Hating my reflection, leaves my body to disgrace of damage
Walking, living, breathing I have to survive
I can be, truly both things he has made me to be
Both an Artist and beautiful masterpiece

What's in Kirstie's Camera?

Hiya,
It has been snowing in my city on and off since January.
This has been a great opertunity for a thriving photographer like me. I have also made a first draft cover of my school's Yearbook, which carries the theme of a Magazine. The cover has been designed baring that in mind.

A drawing from a Rembrant Exhibition:

I also had to make a cake in Spanish according to directions in Spanish and I thought you might enjoy my cullinary masterpeice.

Forever Yours,
Kirstie.

Valentines Day...

Hiya,
I was reading Shakespeare's Macbeth on my seventeenth Valentines day single. Valentine's day is a good day to show someone you love affection, but for the average single indvidual it's a wonderful chance to stuff your face with candy. I had the pleasure of recieve lots of candy grams from guys in IGA.
I found some interesting pick-up line that I would like to share with you.
Enjoy(:

1. Is that Cupid in your pocket, or do you just have really weirdly-shaped pants?

2. You break my heart into 15 unique, chewable pieces, just like a Whitman's Sampler.

3. When I look at you, I see more stars than are in that Valentine's Day movie.

4. A date with me would be at least marginally better than eating bag after bag of those weirdly chalky heart candies with sayings on them.

5. You never make me watch reality dating shows. I think I love you.

6. I choo-choo-choose you.

7. You, me, and 20 awesome cat videos. Whaddya say?

8. You smell much better than my cousin. We should go out!

9. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "U" and "I" together...mostly because things would be easier if vowels were in closer proximity to each other.

10. You've stolen my heart. Literally. Blood...loss...[passes out]

11. You've got long hair, so you're a) a girl or b) a dude who loves metal. Either way, let's get this Valentine's party started.

12. This annual human affection ritual is of interest to my speci—uh, "me." Let the mating and mutual consumption of each other's eye orbs commence.

13. You're a cool cation. We should bond. Ionically, that is.

14. Let's celebrate the holiday! You should come over, hang out, and let me chew on your face in the good way.

15. I'm a vampire and we just met, so we can't actually, you know, do much. On the upside, I can glower annoyingly and watch you while you sleep. Be my Valentine?

Love,
Kirstie.
P.s. I appoligize for the tardines of this post...
I am trying to out post my mom. xD

Jamie Hubley, Gay 15-Year-Old Ottawa, Canada Teen Commits Suicide. Could we have stopped it?

Jamie Hubley, a gay 15 year old from Ottawa, Canada, committed suicide on Friday.

The 10th grade student documented his life, including his depression and the hardships of being a gay teen, in a blog, reports the Ottawa Citizen.

The blog, called "You Can't Break... When You're Already Broken" featured posts with numerous references to and photos of self harm and cutting, pictures of guys kissing and mentions of wanting a boyfriend, and bleak, ominous messages like "Sometimes I wish the breeze would just take me with it," "The only thing worse than being hated is being ignored. At least when they hate you they treat you like you exist," and "Suicides is always an option."

Other posts revealed how difficult school was for Hubley:



"I hate being the only open gay guy in my school… It f***ing sucks, I really want to end it. Like all of it, I not getting better theres 3 more years of highschool left, Iv been on 4 different anti -depressants, none of them worked. I’v been depressed since january, How f***ing long is this going to last. People said “It gets better”. Its f***ing bull****. I go to see psychologist, What the f*** are they suppost to f***ing do? All I do is talk about problems, it doesnt make them dissapear?? I give up."

His last post, which he wrote on Friday, paints a heartbreaking portrait of a boy looking for -- and ultimately unable to find -- acceptance:



Im a casualty of love.

Well, Im tired of life really. Its so hard, Im sorry, I cant take it anymore.

First Id like to mention my friends Nancy, Abby, Colleen, jemma, and Kasia

Being sad is sad : /. I’v been like this for way to long. I cant stand school, I cant stand earth, I cant stand society, I cant stand the scars on my arms, I cant f***ing stand any f***ing thing.

I dont want my parents to think this is their fault either… I love my mom and dad : ) Its just too hard. I dont want to wait 3 more years, this hurts too much. How do you even know It will get better? Its not.

I hit rock f***ing bottom, fell through a crack, now im stuck.

My favorite singers were lady gaga , Adele , Katy perry, and Jessie james, Christina aguilara and most of all I think KASIA!!! I LOVED Singing, and she helped me a lot : ) Im not that good at it though :”/, Im going to miss you guys

(well You know who you are, But to the people who didnt like me (many) A big f*** you, Go ride a unicorn. But w/e I love you anyway.)

Remember me as a Unicorn :3 x) MAybe in my next life Il be a flying squirreel :D

Il fly away.


“From the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls,” said Steph Wheeler, a close friend of Hubley's.

“I just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, he’d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was,” she said.

A Facebook page dedicated to Hubley has been set up and students are planning a memorial performance in his honor.

Hubley's death comes just weeks after American teen Jamey Rodemeyer committed suicide after being bullied for being gay.

While many, including Lady Gaga who has called for bullying to be made illegal and Dan Savage who began the It Gets Better campaign, are working to help gay teens, sadly, it's obvious there remains much work to be done.

Share the LOVE. End Suicide.
Kirstie.

Happy Birthday, my amazing brother!

Happy birthday my beloved brother. You always make me smile when I come home. You give my life a happy hue. I love you so much. I hope that as the years pass we will remain close and never lose touch. Your laugh and smile turn heads. People can not believe how cute you are. I love to hold you. I don't mind if you hit me in the face or pull my hair. I'll get you back one day. (Tehe). I love you!

Peter! Happy birthday to you as well. You are very close to my heart. I love you even though you sneek up on me...all the time. Happy 16th. (Or in Peter years...Happy 18th.) May your birthday be filled with Unicorns that fart rainbows and poop gumdrops. I love you, little brother.

I will try to be better about posting.
Forever yours,
Kirstieeee.

500 days of Bummer. (:

Hello everyone,
I have just returned from a summer holiday. I had a great time. I met some new friends and got to hang out with old ones. I am very blessed with the support that we have at home. With out them our work would have no support which would end in a failure. This trip was very rejuvinating and refreshing. Some times I just need a break from chaos.

I was able to spend some time with my cousin, Ronna. She has been a friend to me even when I was kinda...maybe...sorta mean to her. I have established a deeper relationship with her and I have enjoyed it every step of the way. She is kind of a tom boy. We went shopping with my mom and happened to wonder into a "Dress Barn" where I fell in love with a black dress. Ronna, then, promised me that if I (I as in my lovely mother) bought the dress that she would try on a dress and let me take a photograph. Naturally, part of me is thinking "Hmmmm. I dunno it's a bit expencive." The other side "Wow! Did she really promise that? Doooo it." So, all that to say I got her to wear a dress. The best part is that SHE fell in love with that red dress and later went back and bought it. She looked absolutely stunning. As if she were a full grown woman in her 20's. I love you, Ronna. (:

I would also like to share some of my other photographs that were taken over the majority of our stay. Please enjoy. (:

Thank you all so much for reading. P.s. I love my awesome family. Thank you soo much for everything. You're the best Grand ma I girl could ask for. Mom, thank you for putting up with me, and therefore not killing me, for all these years. I love you. (:

Kirstie.

The End of Sophmore Year.

Every year my school hosts a Senior Banquet. This year, although not as special as last year, was awesome. The Junior class did an awesome job planning it. This was the last year that we had British people in our school due to lack of appropriate programing. I was able to go early to help set up. I was stuck in a car with my friend David and (my sorta-friend) Austin. David was the D.J. for this event and he was still making last minuet decisions on what music to play. Grace, my best friend, lent me a dress. My mom wasn't around so, I had to take the pictures myself. Please forgive me seeing as, they may not be that good (Lol). God has given me so many blessings this year. I some times take them for granted. I appologize so much for this. I know I live in a place unfamiliar to many yet, I know that I could be in a worse situation. I have great friends, my family is whole, and I know that I am loved.
We went through quite a lot of dances while I was reflecting over my life. I think the most important questions in life are; Have you found joy in your life? Has your life brought joy to others? And do you know our savior? As I began to think of all these things I wonder if I've brought joy to others. What do people think when they see me coming...end even more important, when I'm leaving. This train of thought guided me through the year as I repeatedly thought of them over and over. I was interupted by a large group of moshers dancing to a song by the "Black Eyes Peas." I had so much fun that night. Every thing in those moments but, they had to end bringing sorrow in with the next wave. I wish that I could re-live the year. There is so much that I would have done differently. I would have changed things in my friendships, like with Annie. She was like a sister to me yet, we let something little come between us and seperate us.
I danced with Jamshid, Raquel, Elliot, Priscilla, Lala, Joanna, and Peter. (This detail was encluded for my mom.) I danced a scottish dance with Peter and he kept getting to the middle first. I told him that I was going to beat him to the middle so, Ryan (youth leader) said "Oh! Maybe that's how this thing works." He threw me into the middle so, I was successful in beating Peter. (: There are several people that left the school after this year. They are had a special place in my heart but, I was invited to go to England by the Jones family. Mrs. Jones told me that I was welcome any time in their home. I am looking forward to, hopefully (if it's okay with the 'rents), planning a trip there.
When the night was over and all the dancing was done we went home and I found strangers in my house. The Underwoods had arrived from Texas! Thing have been pretty crazy around here. They're a fun family but, it doesn't feel as if this is our apartment. I've been cleaning up like crazt and trying to prepare for our trek back. I really miss the munchkin (my little sister). The days pass slowly. I watch my time float away. I want to see the smiling faces of all my friends. I want to go swimming and be able to run by myself. Every single call weighs down my heart. I sit waiting to hear your voice. I wait and wait and still there is nothing but the cool air and the sound of my own hear. I hope to see you all soon.
I love you!
There is always hope,
Kirstie.