Day one- The journey.
We had traveled long and far for our spring holiday. We needed a break from the city and it's pollutants. We'd went to our friend's house the night before. I'd packed at the last minuet and gotten 4 hours of sleep the night before our leaving. I was hoping to forget everything and leave it behind in the city. I needed to clear my mind. It had taken us three hours to get here. It felt like six because we had a baby and a toddler. As we drove on I thought of all the mistakes I'd made in dealing with my current situation. We got lost two or three times but we got here in one piece none-the-less. Once you are able to see the beauty that this place holds it takes your breath away. It'd bring a grown man to his knees. When you're raised in the city, you appreciate these things A LOT more. The sky is clear. So clear that you can see stars. In the city the stars seem to hide their faces behind a thick layer of pollution. There is no natural life such as trees and flowers in the concrete jungle. Excluding the people, it is life less, it is a valley of ashes. A place where you sometimes cannot hear your own thoughts much less, your own heart beating.
At the moment I am sitting in a cabin with a quaint fire and a cozy complexion. It is here in the mountains where birds sing. If we wished to go on a walk, we would be accompanied by a furry companion. His name is Montana. He's a German Shepard. He is not just a normal dog. He loves to play fetch and catch. This, at first, would not seem out of the ordinary but with what does he play? He likes to play fetch with any of the rocks lying around. He only understands Turkish commands as well. He sits on our door step all night long. We sometimes throw him table scraps. No matter what he's always been there with his rock to keep me company. Morning, Noon, or Night. I would want a dog just like him. I sometimes wish that people in life were just as faithful. But, they come and go as they please. Sometimes with out so much as a thought. But if I have belied the people at my school I apologize.
I've had a hard time these past few months. I struggle with the girls in my class. They ignore me and cut down my dreams. So much that my body aches and my heart is broken. It has never been easy figuring out that the people that you've been calling your friends for 5 years don't really care about you. I suppose that I can't compare to the friends they've known for a life time but their words still cut deep. My hate has driven me for so long that I've worn myself out. So, I'm letting it go. I give up. I don't wanna fight. I just want this war to end. I'm no longer harboring hate in my heart. Life goes on even if my relationship with those people does not. I've made no effort to speak their names. Sadly enough, this isn't to hurt any one of them. It's just to finally show the world that I'm free. (:
Forever Yours,
Kirstie.
